Nature has designed infatuation so that two individuals can get together for a sufficiently long time for an offspring to come out of it. Falling in love typically lasts from a few weeks or months to a year or two. Then it’s all over. The endorphins no longer roll. The feeling is gone. But at this point, the infatuation should be replaced by love, which is something completely different from infatuation.
Love is a choice. When you can no longer feel the sweetness and intoxication of falling in love, you mistakenly believe that love is gone, and then divorce for far too many is a way out of the pain.
We all have a preferred “love language” (kærlighedssprog), but not everyone knows themselves well enough to know what it is. And maybe they know even less about their boyfriend / spouse’s love language.
We do not get a good or bad relationship. We get a relationship.
It is entirely up to us whether after the infatuation phase we will make it a good or a bad relationship.
The partner we have chosen to live with is the partner we have chosen to have our problems with.
Here’s a pictorial example: Just because you’ve bought a vacation at a five-star hotel, does not automatically mean you’ll get a great vacation. The framework is definitely okay, but it is what you put in the holiday that determines whether it will be good or bad.
We all come to a situation where we have a choice to make. We can choose counselling with a couple therapist parterapeut to save the bad relationship.
The trick to save a relationship is to find a good relationship. It is possible to use the bad ones as a learning experience to make a better one.
We all have a preferred love language to take in to a relationship. If it is a foreign language to the other, and you choose to stay in it, and do not open your eyes, or if you take it to the extreme and choose to be like them, then you will end up with a bad relationship. That is, when you allow the bad relationship to determine your feelings towards the one that you love.
It is our choice whether to lead a bad relationship or to lead a good one. However, we must consider some facts that will make our relationship stand out above the others.
- We cannot be with a person that does not want to be with us. We should stay away from relationships that are only a marriage of convenience. With a marriage of convenience, the person becomes their spouse and that is about it. A bad marriage of convenience means a relationship that is a bad marriage of no substance. The person is just a “honeymoon” or “mooning” relationship that ends up lasting a lifetime.
- We must learn to give more than we take. We cannot be in the position of not giving more than we take. Giving without expecting anything in return is a beautiful thing. For a marriage to be a good one, both the partner and the partner spouse must grow up and become less dependent on each other.
- We must learn to be tolerant with samhørighed. If a relationship is not tolerant of another person, then it will be bitter and bitter will prevail. It is not necessary for a person to live a terrible or painful life to learn how to be tolerant. We are all familiar with the story of the young boy who was teased all the time. One day he was tired of being tormented so he killed himself. In real life, the story is told about the old lady who was always having to clean up the messes made by the children. She was taken for granted and did not appreciate the work that the children did. She finally snapped and killed herself. We must be tolerant and understand the difference in people.
- We must learn to be empathetic and to accept the weaknesses of others. If we are tolerant and tolerant, then we are able to accept the weaknesses of others and work on them. When we realize the value of “the weakling” in our lives, we can do whatever we want. When we realize that the weakling is vulnerable to the bully, we must stand up for the bully. When we learn to accept our weaknesses, we can become the strongest in the world.
What more for today? The world needs more empathetic and tolerant persons. The world needs to know the power of the Love Languages.
